How Pathetic Can I Get

How crappy is it when a person would rather live in a fantasy world than in his own life? Isn't that kind of what this blog is meant to be showing others? That I am leaving the fantasy behind and moving on to a better more realistic life?

But that's kind of how life is right now. I actually wish I could live in the world that is portrayed in the movie Avatar! Not becuase I think it looks cool and like the most awesome place in the world (it does, but that's not the point).

I actually think it's kind of the perfect metaphor for me. I want everything the main character (Jake Sully) gets, a family, a home, and identity. He also gets a smoking hot chick.

But he gets more than that, what he gets is to prove to others that he cares more about them than he does himself, and to be honest beside the fact that I wish I wasn't single, I want people to know that I can pull my own and not let people down.

Is that the same as caring what people think about me? No, because if that was the only thing I was concerned with I would have to reside permently in the fantasy world...becuase well I'm not the most liked person in the history of this planet.

I've seen that move twice in 3 days - and to be honest, i'd probobly see it again if somebody wanted to go see it, and I was free - not just becuase the story is fantastic and the graphics are beyond amazing, but because the 2.5 hours that I am in that theater, I can escape my own reality, and live in theres (I hope that the rumors about there being a sequel are true and I really hope that there is a book in the near future).

The move just gives me the release that I look for, the beauty of everything about it - and how I want that.

But Yes I do wish I could live in that world, I wish my problems could be solved with a bow and arrow, and by talking to a tree of wisdom (of sorts) but they can't. I have no way of knowing what is in store for me, but I know this I do want to expereince the adventure that it will bring, it should be interesting!

While I know I can't live there, can't know what that feeling is like - what I want most is to have someone to spend life with, a few years ago I thought I had found that (I was quite, (quite) wrong More wrong than I could possible believe)

But I was happy, now it's been nearly 2 years, and for a long time I was fine with being single, with being alone, with not haveing that special someone - but you know what, each holiday that passes (and each New Year) makes it harder and harder to deal with being alone, and frankly I really really don't like it.

Now - you see why I wish I lived in that world? Because everytime I escape to it, everything is easier, calmer (even with the giant monsters and psychotic soldiers all around) than here. But hey, i've always loved a challenge so - what do I say I give it another shot, maybe I can find that special someone this time, you never know do you.

So maybe i'm not as pathetic as I thought I was (maybe I just ramble alot). Lets wait and see what the future brings!

And so the new year begins

And so it begins, 2010. The year that we all have been waiting for. Why? Because this is the year dreams will be made realities.

Bunch of crap you say? Ha I say, I shall prove you wrong.

For better or worse, college will be over in 5 months and 7 days! Wahoo. And then it's the real world, where I will be able to help make a difference in peoples lives (yes I do believe this will happen).

I will turn 23 3 days after graduation, and while I know i'm getting older, I now also know that I will not have to worry about getting old - you are after all only as old as you feel, and as of 12:01AM today I feel like a million bucks - why? Because it's a fresh slate, and I will prove this year to be better than last.

So yes this is short, but I am tired, and this post will be to say I have 6 goals for this year - resolutions you may call them!

1. Graduate with a BSN from the University of South Carolina / and Pass the NCLEX Exam.
2. Drop 20lbs of fat / Gain 20lbs of Muscle (My weight for the new year is 201lbs, and I want to be in better shape).
3. Get a Job in a Hospital (where well that will be discovered in the months to come)
4. Do more to help others and show compassion.
5. Curse a little less and pray a little more.
6. Become a better Son, Brother and Friend - and this time, I mean it, I will become one.

And with that I bid you all a Happy New Year! Let the troubles of the old wash away, and meet this new year with much cheer for it is a new adventure and each turn will bring many suprise. God Bless all, and Happy New Year!

Long Time Without a Post....Still no less Important!!

So Folks, sorry - it's been a while (yeah I say that alot, I guess I work for some for the Government)!

But What I want to make a *brief* comment on today is health care. So...we've got bills in the House and Senate that are each about 2000 pages long. And Both of which are crap, which both politicians and regular people know.

Now Hold On! My name is NOT, i repeat NOT Glenn Beck! I do not think it is bad because it cost's money, or because it is authored by Democratic members of congress, I think it's bad because it covers little - and excludes too much!

So, here is a short synopses of what I think should be included in this health care bill:

#1. Coverage for all - period. People get it anyway in the ER's and the ER's arn't payed, so lets fix this - and make it so that everybody is covered, at least minimally for SOMETHING! After all this is health care - if people are sick or hurt, they miss work - if they miss work then they arn't productive members of society, if they arn't productive members of society then society will crumble. So give them coverage.

#2. Cover Children for EVERYTHING - another no brainier. Children are the future of this country, they are the ones we should be most concerned with. If they break their arm, cover it, if they need medicine for a heart condition cover it. If they overdose on ADD meds? COVER IT! Yes responsibility plays a role, however we can still help them when they need us, period.

#3. Prevent Federal Funding for: Elective Termination of Pregnancies, Embryonic Stem Cell Research, and Euthenasia - Whether you agree with the following items, are against them for any reason, or just don't care. These three items don't need federal funding, because they are not items that will extend life, and their effectivness at "improving" quality of life is strongly debated.

#4. Prevent Federal Funding of ELECTIVE PROCEDURES - Just because you want Size DD breast's, a poison injected face, or "whiter" teeth does NOT mean I should pay for them with taxes. These are things that while they may enhance your ability to "get laid" on a Saturday night, they are not things you NEED to have better overall health! If your so interested in not going home alone, there are plenty of people who with a couple of 20's will spend the night with you...

#5. Use the Majority of the Money for PREVENTIVE Care - if it will cost $50 dollars to get a vacciene for HPV which will help prevent cervical cancer, or it will cost $5000 for an Emergency Room visit, and all the procedures to treat the cancer which one makes more sense? That's right, the 5000....wait? Wrong. It's a no brainer if I can save both the Patient and the Provider thousands of dollars???? It's easy.

Some lesser requirements would be to define: What is a child (uh...anyone under 18 years of age?); what is considered a cosmetic/elective procedure ( anything that is not required to improve your life/prevent you from dieing a premature death); and what is preventive care? (Well...anything that means I don't have to go to the hospital later, because the problem was taken care of when it was a small problem and not a BIG problem!)

Other than that....health care is pretty easy. That took what, 2-3 pages? Wow I just saved money on paper too! Oh well, maybe when I actually flesh this out it will take a few more pages (like 7-8) but the biggest point? There isn't any point in adding extra stuff. So...we will have to wait and see!

So...What's It Like?

One week in to 2009, about the right time for an entry, or so I would think. I was really trying to figure out a happy entry, one that I could put interesting stuff about everything I’ve done in this first week, but instead my thoughts have been dominated by one thing – how fast time is flying.

And when I consider that (I mean, were one week into 2009 already) all I can think of is what happens when….you know….time runs out.

I don’t mean when the sun explodes, the apocalypse happens, or a giant meteorite crashes into the earth turning the planet into a dust covered wasteland, I’m talking about me…what happens when my time stops.

And yes I know I’m 21 years old, I know I’ve got “my whole life in front of me, etc etc etc.” It gets old hearing that, I mean, I’ve passed by a lot of stuff – I can’t be a kid anymore, because if I am, I’m called immature; I can’t eat what I want, drink what I want, because my metabolism has decided that it doesn’t wanna work anymore – so I just pack on the pounds; and finally I can’t go back, and be 16, 9 or even 5 again.

21 years...gone, never coming back. I mean, honestly….what should I look forward too? Between 50 and 94 years is all I’ve got left (the second number being the age of the oldest person in the US, and would require me to get into the best shape of my life.) So, ok that’s a few years, but in about 9 I’m going to be running out of energy, running out of stamina, in 20-30 years my life will be roughly half over…depressing isn’t it?

How about this…how about we just look at those next 9 years…just for fun (here’s what I hope to do in that time): Graduate, get my RN, get married, start a family, get a masters/Ph.D/DNP/MD in SOMETHING (in what I have no idea) – none of these have to be in any particular order (although married should come before start a family, in generally is less complicated that way.)

But ya, alright, so the next 9 years could be ok, even if I only get a couple of those things (I have some preferences, but most of you can figure those out.) But what about after that? What about if I live to be 100, that’s roughly 80 more years, 10 of which we have accounted for about 40 years after that, I’m going to have to stop working (mainly because generally 70 year olds are a bit old to be nurses)

Ok, so now I’m 71, roughly 30 years left, what can I do for those last 30 years? Can I play baseball? Unless I look like the Terminator I don’t think so. Would I be able to travel? Maybe – but only if (and this is a huge assumption) I don’t have to pee every 5 minutes. Sex (if I’m lucky enough to be married/getting any) isn’t going to be the same as it would be even 15 years previously)

So…what do I got left? Playing internet poker for 14 hours a day; Watching CNN and FoxNews (while getting mad at Bill O’Riley); growing sleepy even doing mundane tasks…I mean, no offence to people who like this, but it kinda sucks.

I mean, I’ve got a silly goal I would like to have a million dollars for when I retire, but say I retire around 70, a million dollars is great, but what can I do with it? I’d like to travel, I’d like to do lots of things, but with only roughly 30 years left, I’m running out of time real fast.

So now lets fast forward…it’s time.

This is what I truly am scared of. I got lucky this past semester, there was only one patient whom was close to dieing while I was at the hospital…but it still scared the hell out of me – at least on the inside, on the outside I had a different appearance.

I mean, I’ve got faith that there is something after this, even though every once in a while I get shit scared because what if there isn’t? But that’s a different discussion for a different day.

I’m scared, really really scared, because what is dieing like?

Yaya I know everybody is scared, nobody knows what it’s going to be like but I’m truly afraid about what its gunna be like.

Will it hurt? Does it hurt to stop breathing? I mean, I’m not a guy normally scared, or paralyzed by fear, but I am scared of pain, that may never end. Do you know your dieing? Do you feel anything? Is there really the white light? What about….everything?

And….nobody can answer these questions, and honestly – I’m really really glad that nobody can, because I’d be terrified to find out the answer. While I want to know, I don’t want to know at the same time, and the reason is, because I’m afraid of pain, well…I don’t want to have to look forward to pain.

But all the same, death still scares the shit out of me. I’m afraid of what happens afterwords, of what happens during the process, and generally because so little is known about it…I’m terrified of it.

I always thought that if I was around death (like in a hospital) that you are de-sensitized to it, but in fact, that’s wrong, in reality you just have to hide your fear of it. Especially if a patient is scared, you have to be strong for them to see, it does no good for the nurse and doctor to freak out and cause the patient pain before they go.

But it doesn’t make it any easier. Which I think is why death hits me so hard, because like I said a while back, I want to win, I want to defeat death. Which physically isn’t possible, but I would still like to try, the oldest person on record was like 130 – 140, and sometimes I wish I could beat the record, but why would I want too? Life can’t be all that fun at that age, I mean…can you walk? Talk? Eat? Sleep? Screw? Or any of 100 other things? I haven’t the faintest idea, and am not sure I want to find that one out either.

The other part about death that scares me is that it can happen anytime, even as I’m typing this, I could be struck down by lightning, tomorrow I could be killed in a car crash, die of Cancer, or a billion other reasons, and while it may be scary now…when I’m actually facing it…I think I’ll be even more terrified…

What if it comes before I get to do things I want to do? I mean, if it came tomorrow, I wouldn’t have gotten to do half the things on my to do list.

But there is a slight religious aspect too it, and that’s the teaching that we die when it is our time – and yes I know why do we bring babies into this world only to die moments later, I don’t know, maybe for the impact they have on people’s lives, who knows.

The one thing that gives me solus is remembering that while I have no control over death, death does not control me – I am always able to live my life, even if the world goes to hell in a handbasket because you never know how it’s going to affect you.

So while I am scared of death, I’m not petrified, at least not yet. And to be honest, after seeing all I’ve written about it, maybe, just maybe I can now be stronger, and perhaps it will give me insight in how to help others conquer their fears of it.

Good-Bye 2008 Hello Bright Future and 2009

Whew…it’s finally hear December 31st, 2008. I seriously didn’t think it would ever end. But if finally finally is about to end.

Currently I’m sitting in the passenger seat of a 1994 Oldsmobile – listening to the Night that Santa Went Crazy by Weird Al! - as Brandon and I drive towards Tampa (we are going to see the Gamecocks play tomorrow, Go Cocks!) and I am sitting back and thinking about everything that has happened in the past 365 days – and for the wide majority has been sucky but there have been a few moments, so be prepared for the wiz bang of 2008:

I started the year on New Years Eve/Day January 1st – in boston. Which was great I got to visit two cousins I’d seen a couple times last year, but who I had slightly grown closer to and that I had a lot of fun chilling with. However the bad part is that Ashley gave me hell about it, and said she was going to start dating a friend of mine, but that she was still going to date me too (but she agreed after new years eve that she wouldn’t) – this would forshadow something that will happen in alittle over a month…

In February my relationship with Ashley ended on Valentines day, for good, 4 years to the day from when it started, it would take me until this Christmas Eve to truly realize that I was finally happy after two crappy years. Not happy because I’d been dumped, but happy because I finally realized that I had been miserable with the way I had been treated, finally realized that I deserved better, and that if I really had married this girl…well I don’t think it would have been a match made in heaven.

In May I turned 21, wahoo! Finally legal to drink, and what have I done since then? Been a designated driver more times than I’ve actually drank, but that’s beside the point. For my 21st birthday I celebrated with my Grandpa for his 80th birthday, and that was actually a lot of fun, at midnight my dad, grandpa, me and the rest of my family that wanted to come went out to a local bar and I had my “first” beer. Getting carded was funny, but I guess I look older because I haven’t been carded much.

Also in may I finished lower division – but then had to take one finally class over summer, and I got the highest grade I’d ever gotten in an A&P class, but it still meant I stressed out from January to May, and again in July, and there where times when I really thought I was gunna be in trouble, but I survived.

So, for my 21st birthday my parents gave me a trip to Ireland to celebrate it. In June I got to go and spend a week with my friends Larry, Fiona, and Matthew and Anie in Belfast, followed by a week in Dublin with Gerald, and then 3 days in Galway on my own. It was some of the most relaxing times for me. I got to be places my parents had never been, and see things nobody had seen (and then become a Jameson whiskey taste tester)

So in July while the Irish program was in full swing I spent the days in classes, and then the evenings at home with Matthew, Anie and my family, and I was able to get to go to some of the activities, which is good because as it turned out this was the 25th and final year of the program, even though there were people who said it should still go on, but oh well, it was a impressive program, if only it could go on.

So then came August…and the start of the “Semester from Hell” The first month of classes I was so lost I didn’t know what on earth to do, it wasn’t until midterms that I had managed to get my act together and figure out when I had to be places, and when I needed to get there… and here’s a bad thing – I got better grades when I was confused and struggling but oh well.

October was Nick’s 17th birthday and we had fun celebrating it, and now the political scene is becoming important, for the first time I watched all the presidential debates, and also the vice presidential one (of which I thought it was the best, and would rather have had Biden running for president but I’m glad he’s atleast the VP.)

So then came November and with it, the election of the first black president of the United States, which was something amazing to begin with, but I worked the polls at that time, and I got to see more people come out to vote than in any election in my memory, people came out and wanted to vote not just for Obama, but honestly – just to vote, because for once they felt like their voice mattered, and to tell you the truth…I would say it would.

So finally we come to December, which has actually been the best and worst of both worlds. The semester from hell was finally able to end, but that meant I had to take exams which truly truly kicked my ass (BUT! I still passed them, ALL!) And then I got to grow closer to one friend whom, means….well she means more than I could ever repay (yes she is a different girl!)

Then we came to Christmas time, and for once our Christmas was less hectic, and in fact we spent more time with family members and less time thinking about the gifts that we gave – which was really really important to me. This was included with lots of games, fun and stories told amongst family, which was wonderful!

Ok, I have to make a quick digression now, because I realize that it may look like my year was great, but there are individual reasons as to why I’ve felt that 2008 wasn’t the best year of all time:

In this year, I got dumped (after proposing to the girl whom I did love at the time); got rejected; couldn’t get a job (thank you Economy and Lehman Bros.); didn’t have the guts to ask the right girl out, asked the wrong girls out 5 times; lost friends; became an asshole; got more C’s in one semester than my entire college career, and was a lousy roll model.

However: I did manage to strengthen friendships, find someone who I can relate to on everything, reach out to those who need help, proved to myself I could survive in a hospital, find out that my soul still exsisted, strengthened my belief in God, and was able to finally finally laugh and have fun.

That brings me back to the car ride down to Ocala, the sky had darkened and I’m closer to my destination, even after 2 hours of traffic in which I saw “workers” drinking beer and standing next too their machines but not actually working! So….now with Hind Sight looking at me, as I look over everything that happened I realize my year wasn’t actually that bad, in fact, with the exception of February and the First week of December, this year was pretty good.

I do know I have a lot of people to thank though for this year, because without the people that have helped me get this far, this year really truly would have sucked.

I want to thank Mom, Dad, and Nick – for supporting and loving me especially when I didn’t deserve it, you guys have given me strength to keep pressing on, because I see what my family is like and I want to be able to accomplish that, and be able to pass on everything I have received from you guys, thank you very much, I love you all!

Mom – you’ve given me the ability to care for people, to know that judging a person doesn’t help them, but a hand up and a hug do! Your selfless care for people you don’t even know showed me how care and compassion go hand in hand. You also taught me that sometimes I need to put aside my own fears so that I can help someone else, Your demonstration as a mom has showed me that I do not come first, instead I have learned that if I put others before myself, there is more joy than in always being selfish.

Dad – even though you might not believe it, you’ve helped instill in me the work ethic to make sure a job is finished, and finished well, without your example I think I would have slacked right out of school. It was from you that I learned that there is no greater reward after a hard days work than knowing that you left everything you had out there. Also, and you really won’t believe this, you’ve taught me that I can’t win everything, but…I can pick my battles – and this has helped me to learn which ones to involve myself in.

Nick – you may not think it, but you’ve taught me a lot too. You taught me that even the “smallest” can prove that they are worth something, and in your case, you best me in just about anything physical, but you also have a heart that is far larger than anyone gives you credit, don’t loose it, no matter what. Also, you’ve taught me about second chances and that everybody deserves them, because even though I treated you badly for along time (and I am truly sorry for that) and you’ve forgiven me each time so thank you, very much.

Grandma, Grandpa, and all my Uncles, Aunts and Cousins – I see how much our family means to all of us, and I hope to help strengthen everything you’ve shown me, and look forward to many many more years together – and to Gma and Gpa specifically thank you, for everything you’ve done, your wisdom, stories, games, walks, talkes etc all mean a lot to me…more than I could ever repay.

Now to some friends, who have had a big impact on my life:

Colleen – like I’ve said time and time again, you truly are a lifesaver. There’s no way I can ever repay you for what you did for me (you were just like an angel who picked me up after I fell to the ground for the 100th time and didn’t want to get up. Thank you, thank you so much – you will always be one of my best friends!

Brandon – You’ve helped me see that even though stuff doesn’t go my way, there is silver linening (even if we have to dig through ash to find it) Thanks for being a friend to me when others weren’t, it means a lot…a lot.

I also want to thank Chris, Elizabeth, Matt Butler and Zach, you guys mean a lot to me, and even thought you might think I’m just an annoying kid, you guys have given me a lot of good advice (and a bit of not so good) and have given me the hope that there’s still a chance for me to find someone.

So there you have it folks the year of 2008, And my final note to you for 2008 will be my new years resolution for 2009:

My Resolution:
To get my act together, pass the next two semester, become a better brother and a better son.

'Twas The Night Before Christmas

…And all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Well, actually two very important people were stirring. Roughly 2012 years ago A carpenter and his betroved wife were trying to find a place to sleep, but no inn had a room, and with nowhere to stay – they turned to a humble stable to lay.

We all know this story, it’s the story of Jesus’s birth, and whether you believe it, or not – it’s an amazing story, even just a few lines from the worlds oldest book, and it has so much meaning for today.

A young “unwed” couple having a child, not knowing what the future held for them, but still willing to do what they thought was right. A child that would be born into dangerous times, where a tyrant will later attempt to have him killed because he feared for his own job. And above all, in a time when all hope seemed lost – it truly wasn’t humanities finest hour…

But hark, what tiny beacon of light is this? The Christ Child is born. If God could send his son during those horrible times, surely he would never abandon all those whom he calls his children? This gives me hope – even if I’m the only one; that times will get better, for the night is always darkest before the dawn.

This is one of the reasons that I believe in God, not because I’m told to, not because I was raised too, and not because I’ve been forced too – but because, it is the ultimate story of hope. For this is nothing that I have done, that would ever warrent being "saved" but the young child came for me as well. Even though I may make mistake after mistake (to the millionth power) there will still be love in that tiny child's heart for me. How do I know this to be true? Well, in about 4 months were going to learn how much he loved us all.

I have been truely blessed this year, I have made new friends, affermed and strengthened friendships (includeing one very crazy person, who I think is the closest thing I have to a best friend), gone wonderful places, seen amazing things, learned more than I have ever thought possible, been forced to go through hell and back, fought personal deamons (and beat them), and leaned much about myself - all the while I've also reafermed that my family is the greatest Gift I could ever recieve, and I love each and every member of them (includeing my brother - even though it may not seem like it at times!)

So I have already been blessed this Christmas, just as I am, every day of the year, and for when I don't say it I wanted to say this; to my family: I Love You, I could not be here without you, you all truely mean the world to me.

Jesus was born to a world that didn’t deserve him, that for all intensive purposes would hate him, but he was also born into a world that desperately need him. Just like we need him now.

As I write this, the clock has struck midnight – it’s Christmas Day; Merry Christmas to all. And sadly as I pause to listen I hear an ambulance’s siren far off in the distance, and I stop to say a quick prayer for those who work in hospitals, who must visit them tonight, and for those who are unable to – May God watch over all of you tonight.

So, I ask all of you to pray with me, our world is in turmoil, much like two millennia ago, but humanity was able to rise after being kicked to the ground, and we will again rise, and we will be stronger, smarter, and better – for on a night, much like tonight 2000 years ago the savior was born, and while he may not be born tonight, he is reborn inside of us every day – so why could we not become like Jesus, and help those who need it.

I ask you, all who read this (for I now know there are some that do) on this Christmas, do something for those who need it, even if it’s simply smiling at someone on the street for you never know what that smile may mean to a person.

I will leave you with a passage from the greatest story of all time:

Luke: 2 1-7
In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus 2 that the whole world should be enrolled. This was the first enrollment, when Quirinius was governor of Syria. So all went to be enrolled, each to his own town. And Joseph too went up from Galilee from the town of Nazareth to Judea, to the city of David that is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, to be enrolled with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. While they were there, the time came for her to have her child, and she gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

The beginning of the greatest story ever told. So I will now bid you all a Merry Christmas, and I ask that you keep the following people in your prayers: Our soldiers both home and abroad (let them make it home to their families for the next Christmas); Policeman, Firefighters, and Rescue Personal (please keep them safe so that they may see their families in the morning); Nurses and Doctors (help them to care for those who come for their care tonight, let God’s touch be with them in healing and comforting); The poor, homeless, and those who are forgotten (Let God show them that he loves them too, and that they will be able to know other love them as well) And finally, pray for those around you for we all need prayers.

God Bless all of you,

Happy Christmas to All, and to All A Good Night!

I have AIDs...shit nevermind I just don't wanna date you!

Wouldn't you love to hear this?? I mean it does take some thinking, to truly come up with something that horrifyingly insensitive that you would say something like that to not go out with someone.

I not only know someone this happened to - I got to experience it first hand. It's much worse in person than reading it.

So sit back and enjoy your next few minutes because all those excuses you used in high school are about to be beaten as I describe the 6 rejections of 2008 (all of which happened to me!). Please feel free to laugh in controllable - because....I can't make these up!

Maybe I can even offer advise to the poor people who will have these excuses used on them in the future - because some horrible person desided they were a good idea!

Rejection #6. If I wanted to be dating a looser I'd still be dating my ex.

Ok, this is the least "bad" one I got (it happened in August '08). The girl was someone whom I'd known for a little while, I didn't want anything special, I just thought she'd be someone fun to hang out with, grab a bite to eat with. So after class one day I had asked her if she wanted to grab lunch, she responded with the above.

It still is pretty nasty comparing someone to an ex who the girl considers a looser. I mean it's just as easy to say "No, I don't have any interest in dating you." It gets your message across in that cold heartless way that your trying for without being the absolute bitch queen that describes the poor guy who asked you out as a looser.

For the poor guy who hears this...well it's gunna suck, but know this - she isn't even worth the "looser" that was her ex (and chances are he dumped her ass anyway.) Also, there will always be better girls to choose from anyway (if she's got a body like Jenna Jameson, she might have a personality like a slug - and there's always someone who's got just as hot a body, and a better persona!)

The Kicker: The guy she started dating about a week after I asked her to lunch is currently doing 5-10 for robbing a ladies house, but she says he was framed (with the ladies credit cards no less) and that she "loves him." Made me happy that I was not attached to that one.

Onward..and well, downward.

Rejection #5. If I wanted to date someone that ugly I'd date my cousin

Now I know I live in South Carolina, where this is techniquelly leagle...but come on, i'm a midwesterner girl, not some hillbilly hick. This girl I will admit was hot - really hot, which was a problem, because that's all I was interested in when I asked her to coffee, but i figured hey, you never know - maybe if she's pretty on the outside she's pretty on the inside...WRONG (atleast for this chick.)

I had just been playing a game of ultimate (she had been on the apposing team, and actually had flirted with me a bit.) And so I asked her after I picked up my bookbag, and she screamed loud enough that her friends in the commen area could hear (a hundred yards away) that phrase in red above.

Now ladies...it's uncalled for, it really is - if the poor sap isn't a brad pitt or george cloony, well i'm sorry - but there are only 2 of those guys, and you never know what a guy looks like underneath everything - personally I clean up very well in a suit or tux, but you'll never get a chance to see it, if you base EVERYTHING off a first impression. So stop and think - and if you can, let the guy down alittle easier, say "your not my type" and then if they ask you what your type is you can say "Tall Dark and Moody."

Guys - once again, these chicks arn't worth the breath it took to ask them out. But if you did get unlucky enough to get a responce like this, don't worry the reason she's looking for somebody "perfect" on the outside is because she's ugly and rotten on the inside (well, most of the time anyway.) And yes, there are beautiful gorgous sexy women out there who have hearts of gold - when you find one, let me know: because I'm looking for one too!

The Kicker: The girl also let me know that her cousin was good in the bedroom...which throughly grossed me out, and gave me all the more reason to be happy I wasn't doing anything with this girl (it did take 15 showers before I felt clean again though...) I mean...really I didn't need to know.

Trust me folks, they only get worse.

Rejection #4. Your too nice to be a boyfriend, I want someone like you in 20 years.

Ok, admittly this could have been worse, but the context about it is priceless. So this is a girl i've been talking to since May, really sweet, great person. She's just made a couple of bad choices, throughout the past 7 months she told me about all the assholes she dated (some of them were really nasty.) And I talked to her for a couple hours the night she got dumped by one of them, and so one day (a while after this) I asked her to grab a bite to eat, she agreed. Then after 4 hours of joking, and talking etc. (and anoying the waite staf because we didn't order anything after the first hour) I asked if I could see her again. She smiled, giggled, and gave me the above as a responce.

Which to be honest...stug because I couldn't figure out what the hell you would want to date an asshole for (which she described as her type) when there are some good guys out there - granted not a whole lot of them. But no she was adament that I was "too nice" and that there was no "danger" around me.

So ladies...if the "bad boys" are really what your into, please, please don't even bother leading us on, because honestly good guys don't like bad boys - usually we got swirlied by them in high school (or stuffed in their lockers.) But if you must tell us, let us down gently - once again, say were not your type, and most importantly, don't tell us that you'll be looking for us in 20 years because - some of us, will, will wait those 20 years for you: much to our own detrament.

Guys...these girls are just no-no's they will lead to nothing, and I mean this, nothing but trouble. But if you are so enamoured by these ladies, and you get the sting of being told that in a few years they will want a nice sweet guy like you - know this, you do not - I repeat - DO NOT have to wait for them, there as so many better women out there, who are ready now for nice guys (and no they are not all 38 year old women looking to have babies.)

The Kicker: This one actually is horrible, because the recent guy this poor girl dated dumped her because his old room mate came back into town and needed a wingman - which was followed the next day up with her getting a call from the new girls phone saying to let him be "him"(thankfully she dumped his ass.)

Pittiful? Yes; Depressing? Yes; Do they get worse...Yes.

Rejection #3. I'm a Lesbian, seriously I just had gay sex with that girl.

I'm going to let this one sink in for a second.

Ok? You got it? Good. Ok now he's the context: This was said right after this girl and I got out of CLASS. A 3 hour class to be exact, with no breaks - so there was no time for a 4 minute quickie. This was a fellow nursing student, for whom I'd known for a while - and who once again was really hot (but this time I had known something about her personality before asking her to a movie). She laughed at my jokes, liked chatting with me, etc, etc. Ya know, wonderful girl.

Well - I was perfectly willing to believe what she said - she was always hanging out with this one girl, and if I'd been paying attention I could have perhaps seen the connection. So about a week later I see a guy in a motorcycle drop off the "girlfriend" for class, and then they preced to make out (totally normal for a lesbian right?) Well me being me, I asked her and her answer was "Eww no, i'm not gay - I like (explective for male anatomy part.)

So now i'm really confused, but just chalk it up to that, and later that day I call the girl i'd asked out (we were doing a group project together) and a guy picks up the phone and says "you better make this fast, were in the middle of f***ing." The next day she came up to me and appoligised and said that that was her "sorta-boyfriend" and no she wasn't a lesbian, she just didn't wanna date me.

Got all that? Does it totally blow your mind, cause it gave me a headache. But the important thing is this - girls Don't tell guys your a lesbian if your not, because they will want to sleep with you even more (especially if they think you'll do a threesome!) Even if they don't wanna date you anymore. Man (or I should say Girl Up) and say "Sorry - I don't wanna date you."

Guys....it's not worth it. And for the record real lesbians, Don't Want to sleep with you - you have a penis, and they have no interest in that. But if your unlucky enough to get a fake "i'm a lesbian" story - just brush it off, these girls are head cases in and of themselves, and should be steared clear of, and there are straight normal girls who will go on dates (and they will be just as hot.)

The Kicker: Girl got dumped about a month ago, and ended up making out / sleeping with a chick from one of her classes, and now claims to be "bi" and thinks threesomes are the best way to have sex (more reason for me to be glad i'm away from that crazy.)

Ok...now were about to get to thte good ones...dum-da-da-dum:

Rejection #2. I'm HIV positive...shit nevermind I just really don't wanna date you.

No...your reading that right, your computer hasn't malfunctioned.

The tital was close to an actual rejection...and this one sucked.

This girl (who I met at CHURCH!), I asked out after my last exam, kind of as a celebration, I asked if she wanted to grab a drink down in 5-points (USC's college bar scene). She responded with "I'm HIV positive."

Me being myself, and not missing a beat (and also being brutily honest) responded with "That's ok, I don't care." This caused her to turn bright red, and mutter "Shit...nevermind I didn't think you'd still wanna do anything, I just really don't wanna date you." No appoligie besides that and she walked off.

I just started laughing, alot. It was really really funny. Because it took alot of guts to come up with that excuse, alot. But it also showed a complete lack of sensitivity for alot of stuff. Because, I know I'm male, but i'm not trying to get in ever girl's pants I talk to - I mean even I'm not that horny. But still...damn it takes alot of balls to say that with a straight face.

So ladies - don't use this as an excuse. Not ever guy wants to screw you (and even if they did, No does mean no, and most guys will respect that.) It's probobly the most insensitive thing you can say, and says alot more about your personallity (and sex life) than you will ever want a guy to know - also, honestly it makes you look slutty.

Guys...don't even spend a second thought on this girl...if she really gives you this excuse respond the the following "That's great, i'm not looking for a long term relationship." Because this is just a ball whacking excuse. EXCEPTION If you learn that a girl really does have HIV or any other STD do not say that comment, and if you are comfortable dating a woman that has one, good - because one mistake doesn't make you a whore.

The Kicker: Really, I don't have one - but I saw her two days later, and waved to her, she turned bright red, and hid her head and didn't wave back, so maybe, just maybe she'll lean to be straight up with a guy next time.

Ok, you've almost made it - and yes I saved the best for last; this is the one that truely truely sucked the most: Becuase it involved a diamond ring...you ready? Because here we go!

Rejection #1. My Mom says we shouldn't be dating...and I like this guy in my class.

This one came on Valentine's Day 08, it came after dating for 4 years, Christmas's, Birthdays, Valentines Day's (one break up) and a million hours spent together. Yup you all guessed it: this lovely girl was ******.

This one actually started the week before valentine's day when she told me she wanted a ring as her valentine's day/annaversy gift (and yes it was a ring that would mean "i'm yours forever.) So I abliged, found a great one (very very pricy but hey, I had money to burn, and no brains in my head.) So I buy it (actually show it to her mother before I give it to her.) and then spend an hour in the car driving on valentine's day for dinner and to give her her gifts, and actually earlier that week she had asked me to spend valentine's night with her (i'll let you draw your own conclusions.)

So I get up to her dorm, take her to dinner, and show her the ring. She loves it, puts it on (the left hand ring finger no less.) And then informs me she can't accept it.

I'm stumped...I have no idea why. So I ask, and she responds with "I'm in college now, My mom doesn't think we should date anymore."

Ya I know, I should have just been like, ok see ya later babe, were done. But oh no, not me, after all I loved this girl and she "loved" me too. So I pressed on and wanted to know what she meant, so I got a long discussion about how she didn't wanna be tied down, etc etc, all being tied back to her mom, and finally after aboutl half an hour, I finally got the truth. She liked a guy in one of her classes.

WOW...was that so hard to say? Apparently yes. So she asked me to hold on to the ring for her, because she might still want it. She did want to know how much I'd spent on it for her, because that was "so important" and not to take it back, because (and she emphasized it alot) she still wanted to marry me but she wanted to be able to date around (and presumably sleep around too.)

So, I said sure, I agreed, I drove her back to her door (did NOT spend the night) and drove home, the next day I talked to her on the phone, same deal. Couple weeks later, the last day I could take the ring back, I called her, talked for an hour on the phone and asked what we were. She said "Nothing, we were nothing." So with tears, and a heavy heart I returned the ring. It truely sucked, but it was the right thing to do.

So ladies - don't screw with a guys heart, because as macho as he might be, when guys give their hearts to girls, they usually give the entire thing; not just alittle piece they don't mind loosing. Also, be straight with a guy - if you don't wanna marry, have kids, grow old with him, tell him, it will save you both alot of greef and pain. And above all, don't ask for something HUGE like a ring that you don't plan on keeping.

Guys...I feel your pain, I really really do - and it truely does suck. So here's my advice for you Remember the pain, remember how much it sucks, how much it hurts, and how much you never want to feel like that again. Now also, remember the good times you had, with any girl, put them together, and use those too things when your looking for your next girl, because when you look for the good, and remember the pain, you choose alot wiser, and alot better girls.

But never never be afraid of the pain, because your gunna get hurt, it's inevitable - but some girls are worth it.

The Kicker: Well, about 2 months later I got a call from her, asking if I wanted to have sex (just for the hell of it, and becuase she wanted to know what it was like.) I hung up, she called back the next day saying she still wanted to be friends, and that she still wanted to marry me (and she still wanted to have sex, because she thought I was hot.) I told her I was done, and that I didn't fucking care, also I didn't want to be her friend. I haven't talked to her since, and it's felt good.


So there you have it in 2008 I've been Rejected 6 times - average of once every two months, not bad (better than High School when it was every week.) But it's taught me that none of these girls are truely what i'm looking for, I've just got to find that girl who's perfect - for me, even if she isn't perfect herself.

So guys...don't stop loving, don't stop looking, don't stop trying because there are people out there, good people. And as a great friend of mine said recently: There is no One soul mate, but there is somebody for you!