I am Gregory House

One week ago - almost to the hour. I played Dr. Gregory House, at the SNA nursing confrence in Myrtle Beach. And personally, I thought I nailed the part. Which at the time, I thought was simply because I enjoyed the show, and the character, and thought it was funny.

....Now I know that's pretty much crap.

The reason I nailed the part is because, I am Gregory House. I am a synical, dark, argumentitive, jackass. I care more about superficial things, than about concrete things. I care more about winning than being friends. But most of all, I care more about being right. I hate loosing, and I especially hate being wrong.

I say i'm going into nursing because I want to care for patients - because i'm concerned with people, because I want to save lives. Which is very true, I do want to do all those things.

But just as much - I want to win. I want to look death in the eye and say "F*** You, I've got the bigger balls." I want to prove that I will be the one standing when the shit hits the fans. And that's what House wants, he doesn't care if the patient likes him - he doesn't care if his staff likes him.

He Just Wants To Win. At All Costs.

But that's just the nicest aspect of House i'm connected too. I am also connected to his non-hospital ways as well. I am, selfish, decietful I am standoffish, and alone - even though I "want" somebody, I don't want somebody. I want to be wanted, but don't want to want anyone.

Like him, I ask out girls, not because i'm intrested in them, but because it's something to do (so far my record since Feburary is 0 - 5; and I don't pick bad ones either.) But I just don't care anymore. I've been turned down enough that, I'm just about ready to say "forget it" and not bother anymore.

House has no friends - atleast no true ones - Wilson is right, they "arn't" friends, and may never have been friends. I don't know if I have true friends either - but for a different reason, I have yet to be called out, by anyone - especially by someone who is my friend. Like House - I push the people around me to the limits, to see their breaking points, and where the line is, and though I will never cross it, I find it, and sit on it. And for some reason, I still have people to talk to.

I'm quite obviously an ass (which House is, constantly,) and have been since Feb 15th, 2004 but...that hasn't stopped people from ignoring that fact, why? It's actually quite funny. My approval/attention doesn't matter that much, and there are only so many jokes I can be the butt of, but people still come back to me.

Like House, i'm much smarter than I seem, I just don't bother applying myself to anything, until I absolutely have to, and then I end up with a passsing grade/paper/project. But i've gotten to the point like him and I ask "Where's the fun?" Seriously, where is the fun in placeing a femoral cath? Or in treating a pateint who can't remember you name 2 seconds after you introduce yourself?

And finally, I'm lonely - just like the character on TV, because he is without a doubt lonely, depressed, and cynical. And I'm not lonely because i'm not haveing sex every weekend (i've turned it down quite frequently) or because I'm not drinking my brains out every Friday night (once again, i've turned down the invitation.) I'm just simply lonely.

The one thing, the one thing i'm good at - is solveing OTHER people's problems, while ignoring my own. Relationships? If you've got a problem i've got a cure - if i've got a problem, i'll just ignore it. Tough Decisions? I can help you make your mind, and move on. Can't make my own mind up, to save my life. Life Altering Moves - I can get you to make the right decision, while completely f'ing myself over.

Just Like House.

So I guess, I'll just have to do what House does - become the best at what he does, and tell the world to go to Hell.

I am Gregory House. And i'm here to save you.